Heidi, to reiterate, is a goddess.  One of the reasons she is a goddess is that she starts her intensives at 9 am rather than 6 am!  That alone has earned her a place in the pantheon.

Day One began with a call to have the balls to change.  Yes, it was pretty much stated that way.  Direct language & cussing always amuses & delights me, so that worked well.  Heidi did the calling in of the directions ceremony, we chanted & did a guided meditation.  The meditation focused on saying “yes” to whatever was going on within us.  Not in an “I accept & love everything” kinda stupid way (there are things one should NOT accept, such as abuse) but in a “this is what I’m feeling & I can feel that & be ok” sense.  Which is very useful to help with tendencies to disassociate or yell at oneself for having particular feelings.  Such as running out of one’s skin everytime one is angry or bored or happy even.

The class that followed was a two hour, open-to-all public inversions class.  Heidi focused on external rotation in the shoulders alot anatomically, and in the standing poses, on top of the thighbone/heel alignment.  Nice addition was having the mentees help/spot newer students during some of the wall work, especially learning to get up into handstand.

After lunch, the afternoon started with Heidi setting the focus of the weekend: Finding our authentic voice.  That means teaching honestly, first off, examining the truth of what you say & making sure you say what you mean.  Heidi emphasized that it’s “Getting clear on why you teach what you do — is it because it resonates with you or it’s easier?  Is is something you’re passionate about, or is it a job?”   An authentic voice is not monotone, or riddled with repeat words, “teacher voice” or boring.  It also means being clear & direct — speaking, touching, & demoing with a purpose.  In short: teaching with passion from your experience.

We then reviewed smudging & did a short smudging ceremony.  After that, talking circle.  To prep for the circle, Heidi had us do some guided process writing on a series of questions about expectations for ourselves, our students & our teachers.  In talking circle, each person had 3 minutes with the talking stick to say something from those questions or whatever else was most pressing to say.  Oh, and you have to talk the Whole Three Minutes.  It’s funny — bunch of teachers who can talk for 90 minutes at a stretch all get wound up about talking 3 minutes with the stick.  

Then the group split into two & each group sequenced an inversion class, one 75 minutes & one 90 minutes.  Heidi reviewed the classes with each group to help finesse the sequencing. 

After the group reconvened as a whole, we finished the day with a teaching circle.  This was neat — each person taught three breath cues for a pose (which we made up as we went around) in a different way each time.  For example, on the first turn around the circle, each person just had to teach using the Breath Formula.  Inhale, speak on exhale.  Second turn around the circle, you had to inhale into pelvis, then speak.  Third turn, inhale into heart, then speak.  Fourth turn, inhale, feel whatever you’re feeling, then speak.

I HIGHLY recommend that last for a daily practice.  Inhale.  Feel whatever you’re feeling.  Then speak.

That’s actually kind of my homework from the weekend, but I’ll get to that tomorrow when I recap Day Two!

Back from weekend in New Haven!  Will provide details on the events after a good night’s sleep, but wanted to provide an update on the medication as its effects were really evident for me this trip.  (See http://autumnlotusyoga.omblogger.com/2010/01/14/outing-myself/ for establishing post.)

Really noticed that I was far more open & relaxed this workshop than I’ve ever felt in a relatively intense group situation – the FYCET a few weeks ago felt better than previously, but this was better than that. 

It’s not 100% perfect or symptom-free, just noticeably improved.  Over the past three-plus weeks of the Neurontin & propanolol, I’ve still had a few panic episodes & periods of irrational dread to work through.  Physical side effects have been very minor… drowsiness at night *yay!* and my balance is a little more rolling in the morning.  Not worse, per se, just different, more of a freeform sense of balance, like sealegs that fade within an hour of waking.

The dominant effect – and this is HUGE —  has been that it is simply infinitely easier to be me.  What a relief.  To both myself & to Beloved Husband, who, bless his heart, was worried only that I’d stop being myself.  Sweet man.    It’s not a fight against my own mind anymore to do simple things, including yoga or neti or taking a hot bath. 

Okay, workshop news tomorrow after classes!!

Did 2 hrs sweaty practice, & now off to New Haven!  It’s the second Forrest Yoga Mentorship Weekend.  I will be blogging on paper (last century I believe this was called “keeping  a journal” but didn’t want to haul the computer this time.  Because a) I could use a few days off the thing and b) I already have an improbable amount of crap for 2.5 days!!

Have a fabulous weekend – see ya Monday!

Good news: great double hot’n’sweaty classes yesterday.  3 hours plus practice felt strong & fab.

Bad news: looks like the event I was to assist Ana at next week is going to be canceled because enrollment isn’t where it should be…  Pittsburgh yogis, no offense intended, but you’re breaking my heart!!  

Was truly deeply depressingly bummed when I got the bad news.   Sat with what I was feeling, whimpered a bit, went to a previously scheduled massage (Laura B. at Sollievo in Davis Square REALLY knows her stuff!) & then had a very consciously-chosen-sadness-remedy homemade chocolate cupcake after dinner.  Nom nom nom nummy.  It was kinda like a combo adult/child reaction to disappointment.  First, the mature approach.  That helps alot, but chocolate is still sometimes the only way to go.

Went to bed early & woke up much more at peace.  As long as there is a home, Beloved Husband & kitties, the world can toss & turn as it wishes cuz everything is ok.

It amuses me that my current “mellow day” is what my “working day” was 5 weeks ago.  Practice, and all is coming.

Took one hot class early in the am, did half an hour extra of my own, & have been working domestic chores since!

Yesterday’s volunteer kick-off class was also a great illustration of all yoga being relative.  When you take yoga out into the world, especially to underserved populations, it is incredibly rewarding.  It’s also a great reminder that the simplest practices are yoga.  Breathing, hand stretches, neck leans, circling the shoulders — that’s enough for many folks to feel better. 

After a fun talk about what yoga is, & what the peeps wanted from their yoga (same as everyone else — physical healing, stress release, focus, help with addictive behavior) we did a simple chair session for about 15 minutes, then a combo chair-or-floor round for an additional 10 minutes.   It was a huge riot of fun.  Much laughter, followed by snacks — perfect!  

Basic plan to work with the group & their needs/injuries is to just finesse the sequencing — chair work, then at the wall, followed by standing poses, poses on the floor that don’t require arm work, poses on the floor that do require arm work.  As a person hits their stopping point, they can take rest, or stay in the chair/at the wall/standing etc. 

 I’ll be on the road next Tuesday, but after that, sky’s the limit with my new friends!!

Gooooooood marathon day.  Did 0630-0800 hot class, then 0930-1100 hot class, with about an extra hour of really gentle work on my own.  Felt frickin’ fab.  First class I was pretty high on the yoga, second class was a bit more work, but very rewarding in terms of depth of focus & accessibility of poses.  Ahhhh.  Gives me a sense of possibility regarding the yoga challenges that await this month.

Do have some minor bizarre tweaks — slight strain/inflammation in a left biceps/elbow ligament & a little owchie under right shoulder blade.

BUT!  The big dog badass back f-up injury is still gaining mobility & feeling good.  Hot baths & rolling around on Yamuna ball before & after class is working… knock wood!

Doing a presentation/demo at the volunteer location this afternoon which I look forward to updating ya’ll on tomorrow.  Presentation may be a bit too formal a word.  I’ll be showing up in my tie-dyed best to talk quite simply on what yoga has done for me (changed my life) & what it is (like a kitchen full of tasty food, it is what you make of it).  Then we will do a very basic chair-based practice with the option afterwards for a second mini-session where more mobile folks can get down on the carpet and… well, Get Down, as it were.

Classes today were diverse & entertaining.  Did hour at sweatlodge 0630-0730 to warm up to teach 9-1030 at BBY, then “warmed down” *hee! not so much!* with Vanessa’s Hip Hop class.

Today’s lesson plan is below.  It uses a lot of uddiyana & joint circles to get folks in touch with core stabilization, then finishes up with peak poses at the wall.  If you’ve never done arm/leg circles in a balance or uddiyana/agni sara while in a forewarm balance, do try it!!  It will crack ya up.

Theme: not forcing through poses, letting things move
Technique: Uddiyana bandha & joint rotations
 
Demo uddiyana standing

Uddiyana on back, knees parallel, internal & externally rotated
 
Still lying down, thigh circles manually
Figure four cross, extend leg, point/flex foot, circle ankles
Extended full leg circles (pilates)
Double straight leg with block
Elbow to knee with block & extend leg straight to ceiling
 
Kneeling cat cow, uddiyana in neutral tabletop
Neutral tabletop again: opposing arm/leg reach; add circles & uddiyana option
Down dog – extend leg, circle bent knee, circle ankle, circle straight leg
(can also be done on hands & knees)
 
Rag doll with side bend;  soft forward bend, hands down, back long with uddiyana

SN A x 4/5
 
SN B to Lunge with arm circles; Easy twisting lunge with uddiyana
 
SN B to Side plank; option to add arm circles 
 
SN B DD into WII; Reverse: Side Angle
 
SN B to Side plank; option to add leg circles or both arm & leg
 
Vinyasa from there out can be left out, or done with side planks instead of chat/backbend

Chair with uddiyana; Twisting chair (optional uddiyana)

WII; Triangle; Half Moon — option to add upper arm or leg circles
 
 
Tree with shoulder circles
Standing bent knee twist with uddiyana
Repeat standing balance of choice

 
Wall:

Down dog on wall — opt to lift & circle leg;

Chair with block, uddiyana or agni sara

Dolphin at wall – opt to lift & circle leg

Bridge at wall

Forearm balance &/or Handstand with uddiyana or agni sara
  
Bridge or Viparita at wall; headstand; shoulder stand choice
  
Reclined twist
 
Sava — legs up wall option

Woke up with fatigued legs & altered plans in light of that.   Took one early hot class rather than two & took it easy.

How does one take a class easy?  First, leave off some of the “vinyasas” (colloquialism for half suns frequently done between poses or sets of poses).  (Though I tend to leave some of those out anyway in faster-paced classes — I don’t care for any overly quick transitions into backbends, including/especially Up Dog.  It’s bad for my back & bad for a lot of other people’s too, reading bodies & expressions.)  Second, don’t go as deep into poses, especially bent knee standing poses when the legs are tired!  Three, rest as needed in child’s pose or down dog or other pose appropriate to what’s going on.

Why take a class easy?  (As opposed to taking a day off.)  Well, for one thing, sometimes when you go to class when tired, it turns out to be a surprisingly excellent class anyway, in terms of what you learn, or how it makes you feel, or suddenly you get there & don’t feel tired anymore.  And, right now anyway,  it feels better for my body to do some movement rather than rest — it’s keeping things “lubed up” as it were.  I suspect if I took a full day off at the moment, the next day I’d feel MORE sore rather than less as things locked up.  Oh yeah, and there’s that whole stubborn/discipline thing that is useful to cultivate sometimes. 

Felt mentally & emotionally fab afterwards — even went & got a haircut at 9 am!!  Decided to embrace the fact that I have thick, wavy, uber-voluminous Big Hair & got bodacious amounts of long layers.  Thankfully, the stick straight fashion phase seems quite over & Beloved Husband is a child of the 80’s & deeply looooves Big Hair.

As referenced in the FYCET Day 5 post (http://autumnlotusyoga.omblogger.com/2010/01/28/fycet-day-5) Ana had us do a writing exercise focused on several key questions.  Here’s my response (most of it) to the first question on what delights my spirit.

Playfulness

Deep breathing

Pretty clothes

Beloved Husband

Our kitties

Quiet time to myself

Healthy touch

People I’m comfortable with

Really good food

Feeling proud of myself

Moving forward

Feeling grounded, vibrant, supported

What does your list look like?

It delighted my spirit to take two full-on 90 minute hot classes today.  Way wicked cool.  Except, like, 95 degrees.  Which was perfect since it’s freaky frigid in Boston right now.  Was tired but extra bendy for the second class.  The bath & rollin’ time seemed useful today as well so I’m gonna try it all again tomorrow.   Next weekend is the second Mentorship session in New Haven & only two weeks till assisting (knock wood!)

Today’s practice was FREAKY AWESOME.  Took the 0645 hour long class, then the 0900 hour & a half class & both were TASTY & PAINFREE!!

Theory at the moment: I got up early enough to take a hot bath & do some body rolling on a Yamuna ball which loosened up the back & everywhere else.

Intend to try it tomorrow also to see if it was just coincidence… Details to follow (& some selected answers to yesterday’s q’s.)