Complicated
Feeling better today but still tired & bit weak . Did a 75 minute basics practice (pranayama, twists, abs, suns) mid-morning & planning another 45 minute basics a little later this evening.
Beloved Husband (BH 
& I were hanging out last night, and I quite honestly told him for the thousandth time that he is the best thing in my life. And he jokingly replied, “well, don’t tell the cats, or yoga. The cats & yoga might get jealous.”
Here’s the thing, though. BH & I have had our share of stress & dramas & fussing at each other (mostly caused cuz I was hungry 
but my relationship with him has from day one been far less complicated than my relationship with yoga. Seriously. And here’s why: BH has never said a mean word to me. Ever. (Told ya he was a keeper
But I’ve said plenty of mean, horrid things to myself on my yoga mat. I was in an abusive relationship with myself & it was thrown into sharp evidence at every practice for a long time. No wonder I built up a strong resistance for a while to practicing… plus, had a massively cruel teacher for a while which did nothing for my sense of self-worth. It took going back & redoing my entire complicated relationship to yoga & to myself to start to break free from that.
As mentioned yesterday, it is still a victory to be kind rather than mean to myself when I’m not at 100%. I still have those times when I despair of ever being “good enough” in my yoga. But now at least I have the ammunition to recognize those thoughts for what they are: old shadows. And total bullshit.
August 24th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
It is so awesome to hear your husband has never said a mean word to you. I can honestly say the same thing about my husband. Wow- did we luck out eh?! Total keepers! (I know that wasn’t the “main” point of your post, but had to comment anyway
)
August 24th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Or we finally found the ones that recognize our fabulousness & help us to do so as well.
It was indeed a large point of the post, I think, really.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
You: Or we finally found the ones that recognize our fabulousness & help us to do so as well.
Me: That they do!
You: It was indeed a large point of the post, I think, really.
Me: Obviously the one that stood out the most for me
August 24th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
I feel you on trying not to beat yourself up when you don’t get something right, I’m still working on that one too